Before getting married it is important to know behavioural compatibility, job and earning potential, and family background, among others. Should the earning discrepancy and spending habits of your potential partner serve as a red flag?
There are a lot of things we check about our partners before getting married: behavioural compatibility, job and earning potential, and family background, among others. What we often fail to scrutinise is the financial rapport between the partners. What if your fiance or boyfriend does not like the fact that you earn more than him? What if he objects to the fact that you don’t spend enough on your joint outings? Does one’s financial behaviour indicate deeper personality flaws that can become difficult to deal with later? Here are a few spending attitudes you should be careful about in a relationship.
He refuses to spend on your joint outings If your partner is earning as much as you or more, but still finds a way to wriggle out of paying the restaurant bill, or refuses to give you any gifts even though you gift him, it should serve as a big red flag. It is good to be careful about spending, but it’s another matter if you are a miser. It is likely that with such an attitude you may be reduced to grovelling for money if you get married and have to quit work after having kids. You could also end up spending for both of you and left without any assets in your name. If the marriage doesn’t work out, you could be left in the lurch without any savings or assets. So be careful if your partner is hesitant to shell out any money when you go out before marriage.
He earns less than you It is a well-acknowledged fact that most men are not comfortable if their wives or partners earn more than them. This resentment can manifest itself in various forms after marriage and adversely affect a relationship, even end it. So if you are going out with a man who earns less than you, look out for comments or remarks that hint at a grudge or resentment. Better still, have a frank conversation about it before marriage. If you are convinced it will not affect your relationship, continue with it, but if you have even the slightest doubt, rethink.
He earns a lot more than you If your partner earns much more than you, and has hinted several times about how less you earn in comparison, be on the alert. This discrepancy in earning can lead to bigger differences if the spouse thinks he or she has to bear the entire financial burden. If, of course, he doesn’t mind being the primary earner or fulfilling all your needs, continue with the relationship. If you detect resentment, it may be better to opt out.
He spends recklessly While a partner who does not spend on you at all may be a problem, so can a date who is extravagant and reckless in buying gifts for you. While such gestures may seem romantic when you are dating, the lack of restraint in spending may pose a big problem after marriage. The inability to save can wreck a budget and lead to arguments and friction.
Money & relationships: 5 spending habits of your partner that can be red flags
He borrows from you Does your partner borrow frequently from you, especially at the end of the month, or even before that? This may indicate chaotic and unplanned spending without a budget on the part of the person you are dating. If you are organised about your finances, this erratic spending can become a source of discord between you after marriage. So make sure the partner can organise himself better and be more careful with his spends.